About Me

I am a 51 year old woman who in the past few years have been through one thing after another. Even though I see God's hand in it all it has and continues to be a difficult road. I feel I cannot be the only person thinking and feeling the way that I do. Maybe not all of you and its not my intention to offend yet to help. So if you disagree then lets agree to disagree. This is the truth as it applies to my life and we could differ. This is my journey and I pray that in some way it may be helpful for you or someone you know. God Bless you all on your journey whatever it may be.

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

No New Layouts Today

Even though I do not have any layouts today I feel compelled to write. I started sharing my journey right now Spiritually and how can I stop now? My hearts desire is that God will use my blogging in some great and magnificant way to touch someone even if it is just one person. Just so that they know they are not alone. The horrifying feeling that we are the only one that is and has ever gone through something is Satan, the adversary or evil at its core. Whatever you choose to call it. We are not alone. God has made that so clear to me this week. I and others have prayed that God would bring other women into my life. Women who either have or are going through what I am. Women to share with. Women to pray with and will pray for me. A support system. My behavior has always been. When God brings me to that broken (teachable) state and he starts to move in my life, I back away and then hightail it out of there. Hightail it as fast as I can go. I dont want to be that kind of servant anymore. I want to stand strong and be found faithful when this crisis in my life is over. When I have finished going through this season in my life.
This morning I was crying and fitful inside myself with not knowing what to do next. Just not knowing what he wants or what I want. Feeling like I just dont know anything.
Now, I am Praising God for this because this is the place where I really, even though I have been a Christian since I was eight, find Him. I mean really find Him! His love is so huge for me!! He forgives everything before I even say it or before I even do it!! Trust has been a big issue for me ever since a family member abused me in a very personal way. So now I am learning and claiming Lord God I trust you!!! I trust you with everything!! I trust that YOU will show me the way. You will show me what to know!! YOU will show up for me in a way that I have no concept of. You are doing it now as I write in this blog!! You are doing things in my life that in no way shape or form could every be coincidental!! YOU are magnificant and an awesome GOD!!
How powerful are your lessons to me and I pray that I will continue to hear you!!
So ladies and also the guys out there please know that you are not alone!! Pray for your support circle to appear because it is in my life in a way I never thought possible!! He is working it out for me and I am so grateful!! He can do it for you too!!!!

1 comment:

Terry said...

Isn't is fantastic to know that we are not alone, April? I, too, am grateful for that knowledge in my life. The past few years have been extremely difficult for me in many ways, and I know I could never have made it through on my own. Every single day I feel the guidance from my Heavenly Father. I'm so grateful to know that He is there and He loves me. You are in my prayers, April.

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